Pain as always present, not created by sitting
Know that pain is always there. You have just noticed it. It's not something you newly produced.
Redefining pain as existential force
Although we call it pain, it is simply a force which came along with our existence. Maybe in this force there is always pain, if there is sense to feel it. When I touch my "nyoi" (stick) to the floor, both, my stick and the floor, feel pain, but they don't say so.
Pain avoidance as self-limitation
If you just see the good or pleasant part of an activity and avoid the pain, or avoid piercing cold or suffocating heat, then you are limiting yourself, not letting the force go from one end to the other.
Kobun's personal experience of shame in sesshin
Always in the second and third days of sesshin my cheeks become very hot because of so many embarrassing things I have done. I want to write or call to apologize to those for whom a difficult time was made. I feel I am so bad.
Non-judgment and the storm metaphor
The important thing is not to judge your poor effort in sitting, but simply encourage yourself to reach to the present, instead of directing yourself away. It's like a sailor sailing a boat in the storm. You have to be aware. But you also have to be aware that the storm is also yourself.
Honestly questioning Dogen's teaching on zazen
I wonder whether Dogen's words are true that zazen is the great "Dharma gate of peace and joy." Is that true?
The universality of pain in embodied existence
We are always in pain, in all parts, although when we are moving around we forget. If you keep your posture tilted for a long time, your pain is great. Try to stretch your arms out and hold them, unsupported, for five minutes; you will start to cry.
The pyramid shape of the sitting body
The triangular sitting posture is very interesting. The shape of a pyramid is a very, very good form for containing force within it.
Karmic body as expression of concentrated power
Without this karmic condition you could not exist as the expression of "joriki," ultimate force.
Pain as the medium of existential awareness
The other side of pain is the intensity of knowing where you exist. This realization gives you joy. If we didn't have this nerve system embedded in our body, we wouldn't know where we are, or what direction our body is facing.
Facing undissolved mental suffering
Sitting still feels like disappearing from this world. You go into the rock, or the thick wall, feeling somewhat as if you are disappearing as a human being. The problem is not because of the pain in your body. The pain in the undissolved suffering in your mind remains undissolved, and yet that is what you've got. Better look at it, what it is, instead of being frightened by the appearance of it.
Gensha's koan moment after stubbing his toe
This body and mind do not exist, I know, but where is this pain coming from?
Kobun on his own knee pain, finding joy in it
It makes me happy that there is still pain there.